Lessons I Learned in Pre-K

Tomorrow is my son, Brennon's, last day in pre-K.  Or maybe not.  I don't know for sure.  See, my boy is a summer baby, and I know that by now we should have decided what's going to be in his future, but we haven't.  Even so, whether or not we decide to put Brennon in kindergarten or another year of pre-K in the fall, he's still ending his first year of school tomorrow.  That's a milestone no matter how you look at it.  During this year, Brennon has learned so much more than I could have imagined, but I've learned quite a bit as well. 

First of all, I've learned or rather, had confirmed that time flies by.  This sounds so ridiculous, because there isn't a parent out there that doesn't say this at some time, but really, it's unbelievable to me that the boy for whom we waited and waited to join our family, is almost five years old.  He speaks like a little man and he is a little man.  I love this little man with all my heart, and I just hope that he knows that I treasure the time that I have with him.  I'm so thankful that he's been trusted to me.

I've learned sometimes God sends people into your life through your children.  My friend, Jenifer and I knew each other before the beginning of the school year.  We were happy that our kids were in the same class, and we even made small talk on the first day of class while they played puzzles at the same table. We hoped they would become good friends, but we had no idea that the two of us would become the best of friends. As Brennon & Serenity became "boyfriend and girlfriend", we found that we loved spending time together as friends with our kiddos more than we could've known.

I learned that he's not going to learn everything from me or from the classroom. Sometimes I'll ask Brennon where he learned something, and he'll tell me from Peppa Pig or from hearing you. The other day, he told me he learned the right way to hug from watching daddy and I hug in the kitchen. This obviously wasn't something we set about to teach him, it was just something he learned from our day to day life. The opportunity for him to learn something is always there, even if I am not always ready to take it. From teaching, I've always heard children are like sponges and may soak everything up, and it is so so true

I learned that relationships formed at an early age, even those outside of the family, are so very important. Tonight, I tried to hold back tears as Brennon told me at bedtime that he did not want to leave his friends and his class. He wanted to go to pre-K with them forever. He didn't want to think about having a new teacher next year, because Miss Kelly and Miss Connie are supposed to be his teachers...forever. He had an amazing first experience in school, and for that I will always be thankful.

3 Years Have Flown By....

Almost two weeks ago now, my little baby turned three.  I know, I know, he isn't my little baby anymore, but he still so is.  Gavin is the boy who helps me see more and more that personality can be strong from the beginning, that children certainly do inherit both the best and worse from their parents, and that humor is undoubtedly necessary in everyday life.  There is so much to say about my Gavs, that I just had to take the time to think back about how we got to this point.  Just a warning, I love this little boy more than life itself, so if I get mushy, well, you've been warned.

My pregnancy with Gavin was so different than that of Brennon.  He gave us scares.  He made sure his entrance was unforgettable:  2 weeks early, the cord wrapped around his neck two times, and wrapped around his big toe once (so that every time that he was kicking, he was pulling the cord), and then we dealt with jaundice for the first week of his life.  His first few months were hard:  colic, a snowstorm the day he came home, postpartum depression, and colic....oh and colic.  Ugh!  But even from the beginning, he was my little cuddle bug.  He would pull his legs up under his tummy and he would snuggle his face into my neck and just cuddle.  He would happily stay in my baby sling, so close to my heart for an hour at a time.  He brought me so much agony (did I mention that he was colicky), and so much joy from the moment he entered our world. 

I'm sure I'm not the only mom to ever compare her children, but I found that having two kids so close together made it especially hard.  During his first year, Gavin ate food sooner (which at the time I thought was from me loosening up as a mom, but now that I see what a foodie Gavin is, it doesn't surprise me at all), he laughed sooner and much more often (still no shocker), and although he became mobile later, once he started, he didn't care so much about walking as he did climbing!   Brennon was so neat and clean, and Gavin was just all over the place.  He didn't care if the spaghetti ended up just as much in his hair or the wall as it did in his mouth.  Brennon was quiet, and Gavin was loud.  He didn't really care as much about television, which is still the case, and he LOVED music.  Gavin loves to sing, be sung to, and dance, dance, dance!  I remember a time when he was probably only about a year and half that the Sunday school teacher said to me that she was shocked about what rhythm Gavin had. 

As Gavin continued to grow, I would see the best (expressive, loving) and worst of me (temper....uh, yes) demonstrated in him.  I love that he looks like me, but I think that's just because my handsome Brennon looks like Ryan's mini-me.  My mom showed my brother, Kyle, a picture of me when I was about 5 months old, and Kyle asked why we put Gavin in a dress.  I love it!  He is my mini-me, only with less hair bows!



At age 2, he started sticking out his tongue and making funny faces in pictures....

Gavin is now three years old, and I see personality, personality, personality!  He loves his family, his friends, and animals.  He goes from talking about how much he loves them and being charming in general to teasing in no time flat.  He will tell Brennon that he loves him and that he is his best friend and then bring sibling rivalry to new levels within a span of two minutes.  He loves to tease, especially because he is able to get to Brennon.  I was shocked when Gavin was only two and a half and he was taunting his older brother saying that he bought him "girly princess stuff" for Christmas.  He loves to make silly faces when you take his picture, have his "neck meat" tickled, and use his wild imagination.  He is still my cuddle bug, only now it happens when the mood strikes, and he is uber-competitive (I do not know where he gets that, ahem!)  He loves to feel like he's done something, and I love when he says, "I can do it by by my myself!"  Although I sometimes do worry about his pronunciation, I have to admit that I will absolutely miss the way that he says somethings when he grows out of it.  I mean, will I even know who he's talking about when he calls him "Brennon" instead of "Bwennon"?  He tries my patience almost daily, but he also has me (and many of my friends) wrapped around his finger.  I am so happy that is a part of my life, and that God gave us someone to make us laugh through every situation.  And on a side note, I apologize future teachers, because I know what it is like to have a class clown on your hands, but please know, I kid you not when I say that he will keep a smile on your face and laughter in your heart each and every day!  I love you, my Gavy, you are my sweet, silly boy, and Mommy loves all that you are...I always will!

I Don't Know How She Doesn't Do It

I'm never going to be that woman.  The woman who everyone looks at and says "I don't know how she does it!"  I don't think this ever really bothered me before, but now that I'm pregnant with our third child, I've been kind of boxing myself daily about why I'm not getting everything done each day.  Maybe it's that little bit of freaking out about if I can't get everything done now, how in the world will I get it done with THREE???  I mean, why am I not finished with a completed to-do list including dinner, papers graded, baths, bedtime, shopping, bills paid, lunches planned, laundry folded, dishes done, doctor's appointments, toys away, and cookies baking in the oven, and blog updated?  (Which is incidentally, why this blog hasn't been updated near as much as I'd like!  I mean, I think about it all the time.  I'll think of something and think, I'm going to blog about that, and well, it just doesn't always happen.)

Besides having the recent revelation that NOBODY does it all, I also realized that I don't want to.  If I am able to do all that I need to do each day completely on my own, what part shall God's grace play in my life?  Due to the fact that I know I cannot in any way get everything done that I would like to get done in my many roles, I know that I have to begin every day by asking God to please help me have strength, wisdom, discernment, and peace. 

Acknowledging my need for God's help doesn't mean I am a flawless mother, wife, or teacher.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  It means that I know my flaws, I know what I'm going to struggle with, including mommy guilt.  That alone, could crush me daily.  The reason it doesn't crush me is because I am aware that most moms deal with mommy guilt.  It can surface in any number of ways.  Maybe today I feel guilty for not getting as much done around the house.  Maybe tomorrow I'll feel guilty for doing too much around the house and not spending enough "quality time" with kids.  A week from now, I could feel guilty about being too harsh with my sons when I know they're only 2 and 4.  Next Wednesday, I can beat myself up for being too tired to make dinner and feeding my kids junkie fast food for dinner.  And a month from now, maybe I'll even feel guilty for making a hair appointment in the evening when I'm already away from my kids all day while I teach.  But the fact of the matter is, mommy guilt is a chameleon.  It can take on whatever form it needs to get its point across.  It is almost certainly the most efficient way that women attack themselves in their daily lives. 

You can think to yourself, "Why can't I get it all done like Sally?"  or "Why can't we have a normal day of errands without meltdowns like Mary and her kids?"  Well, Sally and Mary may look like they've got it all together, but I promise something's not done or at least not done in the right way.  Maybe Sally's a hoarder and Mary's taking little Billy's ADD meds.  Okay, so maybe it's nothing that drastic, but I like to make it really crazy in my head so I seem a little less crazy myself.  Well, that, and I have a really huge need for humor in my life.  So, I ask God to help me remember that he called me to live my life, and nobody else's.  How could I have guilt over not getting everything done when only Sally's called to that anyway?  And so, if my blogs appear few and far between and only the front of my shirt is ironed, I'll still hold my head high and know that I'm getting done with everything God helped me do that day.  After all, I'd rather cross off half my to-do list with his help than the whole thing on my own.  It will help me down the line to teach my children to rely on God's grace.  It will help me keep my sense of humor as a mom, and most of all, it will help me remember that NOBODY really does it all!