A New Thanksgiving

     This year, we decided to do Thanksgiving in our own home, and it was completely different than any other holiday we've ever had, but it was so very nice and I loved every minute of it.  I missed seeing my family, but we were able to have a great afternoon with Mimi, Papa, Gigi, and Poppi. 

     In true type-A fashion, I was able to not stress at all, because I had already made a document with all my recipes I would use in the order I would use them, a to-do list with times, and a schedule of when everything had to be cooked.  I know that may seem a little crazy to some people, but it makes my life so much easier!  So, on Wednesday, we made pumpkin pie (which I forgot to take a picture of, but I can assure you was scrumptious nonetheless)....

and cranberry sauce....

    and sweet potatoes.....

And then on Thanksgiving, while we half-heartedly watched the Macy's parade,

We made stuffing...

 and green bean casserole...

             and creamy corn...

and rolls, and I heated up the turkey.  I didn't have to fully cook it since  I decided that I didn't want to chance my first Thanskgiving as host being a disaster with a failed attempt at turkey.  So, I let Honey Baked Ham do the job, and it was delicious!

      Since Brennon has learned how to write so well already, he wanted to write placecards or "nametags" for everyone.  Although I helped him spell, he wrote them completely on his own.  He also asked me to help him figure out how to spell a message on the fridge with magnets.  My sweet boy!  I pray he keeps his tender heart and always wants to do special things for the people he loves.

                             

         After stuffing ourselves silly and then going back for seconds, we talked and talked, Brennon tried to teach Pop to play Wii Lego Batman, and enjoyed relaxing in our own home with family, coffee, and entertainment courtesy of two very rambunctious little fellas. 

          I was so thankful for a perfect Thanksgiving and for being able to host my in-laws and grandparent in-laws.  A lot has changed in the last few years for our family.  We've gone through a lot, sometimes more than it seems we could handle.  Maybe because of all this, it was even more special to be together on this day where we remember all the blessings that God has brought into our lives.  It was a new kind of Thanksgiving, a new kind of normal, but it made me even more thankful that we are able create new traditions and enjoy them just as much as anything else we've done in the past.  It gives me hope for more than just this day, but for every day in our new normal world.

My Child As a Friend

There comes a time in the life of every mom when you see your child as a friend for the first time.  I'm not talking about him being a friend to me, although I'm sure that time will come as well, but as a friend to his friends.  Sure I've seen him be a great friend to his brother or play with his cousins, but it's different when he has a friend who he has chosen to be friends with. 

When Brennon started pre-k, I was so excited to find out that he was in the same class as a little girl we knew named Serenity.  I want Brennon to make decisions on his own, so while I gently nudged him towards her on the first day, I let him figure out on his own if she was somebody that he would want to be friends with.  And he did!  I would love to hear him recount his fun times at school, and he always made sure to include Serenity in his list of people he played with...sometimes she would make up the whole list.  So it really shouldn't have surprised me when he came home one day and told me that he had a girlfriend.  Oh my!  I was so not ready for that!!!  I just have to laugh it off and say that I'm glad she's a girl and she's your friend.  :-)  Kind of like when I was in college and Ryan and I were dating, it took my mom almost a year to not introduce him as my "friend".  In fact, by the time she finally started calling him my boyfriend, we were practically engaged.  Ok, so that was nothing like when I was in college, but it made me think of that.  Maybe someday when he really does have a girlfriend, I will be able to accept it at that time.  Hope so...as long as it doesn't happen until he's 30.

In the meantime, I love it.  We went to Bartlesville on Sunday with Serenity and her mom, Jenifer (who I love and I'm so happy we've become friends!)  It was so cute to see the way that they talked to each other in the car, played together, gave each other attention and cared for each other.  I loved seeing how kind he was and how much he so enjoyed being with his friend all day long.  He couldn't stop talking about his day with Serenity that night at bedtime, and I am so proud of the way that he has become a friend.  He's off to a good start!

The Biggest Decision....

It started like any ordinary day.  I didn't know as I woke up and made some "egg-in-the-holes" and cinnamon rolls that my heart would soon melt into a lump of goo in only a way that one of my sons could do.  Our conversation started because I was looking at my cousin, Kristi's. new pictures on facebook.  These were pictures that any mom would be proud of, as they were showing her son and daughter being baptized yesterday.  Brennon wanted to know what they were doing, because from his point of view, it looked like they were just swimming.  So, we started talking about why his cousins, Liv and Ty, chose to be baptized.  The conversation was so simple, and I felt like truly it was God giving me the words to speak to him, as it really is hard to put all your own beliefs combined with a college level theological "worldview" into four-year-old terms.  In the midst of our tender conversation over quesadillas, I told my Brennon that he could ask Jesus to live in his heart.  Since our conversation had sparked out of an interest in baptism, he looked completely conflicted as he said with complete honesty, "Do I have to be dunked in water?"  He makes me laugh so much! 

I explained to him the difference in salvation and baptism, and after our lunch we sat together in the living room and I led him in a prayer that gave him a clear understanding of what it meant and knowing that it was an important decision.  I was so, so happy that I got to experience this with him, and that I was able to lead him in this way.  Brennon was so excited that he then called my mom and told her his "good news".  He was so happy to hear how excited Gramma was that he then asked to call his Poppie and Gigi and Mimi and Papa.  He told them, and he was a little more proud each time.  I thought that I had cried all I could by the time he told my mom the story, but each time he recounted it, I cried even more.  I am so happy that my tender-hearted little guy took this seriously and understood that this decision meant more than just repeating words.  I have to admit that I was proud of myself too.  Every mom has a list of things that they want to be in their child's eyes, and godly is at the top of mine.  I fall short of that more than I care to admit, but that is a whole new lesson that I get to teach my little boy, because God's grace is what will allow me to be a godly mom.  Even more so, this grace will allow me to experience more and more events such as this, the truly important ones, the ones that are completely life-shaping. 

Well, It's About Time....

Yes, I'm still alive!  I have several reasons that I haven't been blogging, first of which is that I hadn't realized how little free time I would have for blogging once school started back up.  I also very much am in need of a new computer, so it's hard to make myself type on something that frustrates me.  Last of all, the last few months have been less than easy, and I didn't create this blog to be one of those girls who just constantly vents for the sake of commiserating in misery.  However, despite the fact that craziness ensues, I also have had a lot of joys in the last few months.  My Brennon started preschool, and every single day I amazed at how much he has learned. 

I have always known that he was a smartie, but he is so inquisitive that I love our conversations about everything from the north star to title pages.  I LOVED the first time that I had to sit in the pick-up line at school waiting for my boy to come out.  I felt like I was growing up myself.  I also have to note that I don't know if I have ever smiled as much as I did watching Brennon at school when I got to observe and help out on party day.  It was so much fun!

We have also had some great family time, whether as far away as Branson and "Silba Dolla City" or just in our own area with day trips. 

We went to Silver Dollar City with Gramma, Auntie Shannie, Uncle Kyle, and cousin Zoe.  The boys LOVED it!  Of course, now with the Christmas commercials starting, they keep saying that we need to go back.  This was our first time to take our kiddos, and let me just say that I cannot believe how often I went there as a kid.  It is so much harder when you have kids of your own!  I loved it, and we will be going much more often as the kids get older, but I was E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D!  Actually, I can't even think of the right word for it, because exhausted doesn't even begin to cover it. 

To get out and about on the weekend, we spent one Saturday not too far from home, going to see Big Brutus.  Let me tell you, I have never felt so much like a mother of boys as on this day.  Big Brutus is basically a giant electric shovel out in the middle of nowhere that was left where it was used after they stopped using it in the 70s.  It was definitely cool, because it was gigantic, but you would have thought that we took the boys to the Taj Mahal the way that they were oohing and aahing at the thing.  In true form, I did end up with a giant bruise on my leg from crawling through one of the openings several stories up.  Who would expect any less? 

We also took our annual trip to the pumpkin patch, which gets more and more fun every year.  That isn't because they add things like the giant corn bin for the boys to play in or that they were finally interested in doing the corn maze, but because of the pure joy and excitement that seems to grow every year.  Every year, I think that the boys could not have more fun at the pumpkin patch than they did the year before, but somehow they do.  We really had to work hard to pick up pumpkin this year, because it was the first time that everyone had an opinion.....I don't know if I'm ready for that stage yet!

Our last major event of the last few months was, of course, Halloween.  Brennon and Gavin were Captain Hook and Mr. Smee, and I must say that they were quite cute in their costumes!  I slaved away with my novice sewing skills to make Brennon's costume, but was able to throw Gavin's costume together pretty easily.  It may be due to my sewing, or maybe just because Gavin was so stinkin' cute in that Smee costume, but he was the one that ended up winning 3rd prize in our local downtown costume contest!  He won an art set, which he willingly shares with Brennon, since Brennon said, "Gavin couldn't have really won without me, since we are a pair".  They are so funny!  We had a lot of fun trick-or-treating and going to Neewollah.  We got way too much candy, and we are finally getting over the fact that Halloween won't come again for a whole "nother" year. 

My cute little pirate crew!

Mommy and her boys!

I love this picture of Poppo and the boys at Neewollah

Despite all these fun places and events, one of the best things of the past few months has been becoming a "soccer mom".  Soccer at age 4 is many things, but a true version of the sport, it is not.  It was so funny to see the kids act like magnets to that ball.  Brennon finally scored a goal on our last game of the season, and he did awesome!  He also created a new running style just for games called "the helicopter".  It's hilarious to watch, as he runs down the field swinging his arm in circular motions.  Well, I was always told I had a great imagination, so I guess he comes by it naturally.

That should about catch me up.  I apologize for the novel here, but now that I'm caught up, I can do better about blogging on a much more regular basis.  I feel like sometimes I have so much to write about that I can't decide what to say, then I just end up not writing at all.  Well, my Thanksgiving resolution is to be a better blogger.  I know that's not a real thing, but it is for me.  Well, now it is, anyway.  You'll see.  You can be thankful for my awesome words gracing your screen more often, or that maybe you'll see I'm just as scattered as anyone else, but I'm doing the best I can to be a mom.  Sometimes I feel victorious, sometimes I fall on my face, but by the grace of God, I can get up and start again.  I remember to learn along this journey as much as I can, because I will be a better teacher to my kids if I am learning along the way.  The thing I have learned most recently is that no matter where you go, sometimes you make the best memories by just being....no matter where you are.

Helicopter Closing In!

I feel like I need to clarify something up front here....I am not a helicopter mom, but I am always close enough that I know if something went seriously wrong, I could swoop in if needed.  I was better at hovering when I was a SAHM with Brennon, but now I am much better at stepping back, allowing my boys to try to solve most problems on their own, and jumping in to play with them for short intervals.  Ok, so now that you know that, let me tell you about something that has been on my mind pretty much non-stop for the past 24 hours.   

Yesterday after school, the boys and I went swimming at my friend Leslie's house after school.  It was sweltering outside again, and it wasn't worth even being outside without being in the pool, so it was a perfect day to relax in the pool (especially after Leslie and I--and the rest of the second grade teachers--were testing kids all day at school).   We had spent pretty much all summer in the pool at either Leslie's house, the water park, my Aunt Nancy's house, or Mimi & Pop's house...oh, and in our little backyard pool too, of course.  At the beginning of the summer, I had to spend most of an afternoon coaxing the boys into the pool.  They just wanted to hang out on the stairs or "on dry land".  Finally, they were both loving being in the water and becoming little fishes who were becoming quite happy to be in the water.  I love that, because now they wanted to jump off the side or even the diving board and have me catch them or they'd want to swim around the pool hanging on to me or sometimes they just wanted to throw things in and have me dive after them.  Anyway, we were really having fun swimming.  Each time we went swimming, I became a little more comfortable with them being around the water myself and I didn't worry so much about them.  They knew their limits and I trusted that they would pay attention to them. 

Back to yesterday, I was taking times swimming the boys around the pool and I had just set Brennon up on the side.  I took off my sunglasses and set them on the side of the pool, and then I was swimming back and forth across the shallow end while the boys played on the side of the pool.  I had just come up from going under to get my hair wet and cool myself off in the 105 degree heat, when I hear a splash.  I look over and Gavin is under the water.  I probably was moving close to the speed of light to swim to him, but it felt like the entire world was moving in slow motion.  I have never felt such sheer terror in my heart as I saw the top of his head barely peeking out of the top of the water. I know that he could not have been under the water for more than 2 full seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. 

He was fine, just scared, but I know that he couldn't have been more scared than I was.  It was awful.  I hugged him and squeezed him and loved him a little more.  I cannot imagine what could have happened so quickly if I hadn't been right there, paying better attention, hovering closely by.  So, my helicopter might be a little closer at the pool next time, but more than anything I have thought about my boys nonstop since then.  Before bed, I said extra thanks for them, first thing this morning, I gave thanks for them being safe, healthy boys, and throughout the day I couldn't wait to see them.   I'm not going to become a crazy worrying, controlling mom.  That's not me, but I may just move my helicopter's perimeter a bit closer. 

Today, my friend Leslie said she was impressed with how calm I was and how well I handled it, and I thought to myself, "SERIOUSLY, I was a mess!"  So, hug your kids and remember tonight how much you have to be thankful for, because I now understand how quickly something could change.  Thank God it didn't.  Or maybe it did, just not in any way that you could see or that would change my Gavy....instead it changed me and made me realize that no matter how tired I am at the end of the day, I have so much to be thankful for.

I'm a Foodie, You're a Foodie....

I admit it. I love good food. I mean really excellent, beautiful, and sometimes even pretentious food. Is there anything better than a gorgeous plate that is filled with not just food, but someone's delicious artistic expression? I think not! Luckily, I have a few friends that are also foodies, so I get some excellent recommendations for where to eat and what. They have great taste in food, and so do I! (By the way, if I give you a recommendation for food, you can trust that it's worth checking out...my standards are high!) So this past weekend when we were in Kansas City, we took a recommendation of a friend and fellow foodie and tried a gelato place in Park Place in Overland Park.  This was A-MAZ-ING!  I mean seriously, I cannot tell you how awesome it was!   

There were so many flavors, the shop was so quaint, and the people working there were so nice, but really the important thing was that the gelato was unbelievably delicious!  It was creamy and light and sooo good.  However, the thing I loved the best was that I realized that Ryan and I have passed on our foodie tendencies to our sons.  I'll show you what I mean....

Look how excited Gavin is before he even starts eating.  He is smiling, not because he's tasted the yumminess of his mint chocolate gelato, but because of the sheer anticipation of the first scrumptious bite.  Now, Brennon has just taken his first bite, and it may not look like much, but just a moment later...



Pure bliss....ahhh.....

Sea salted caramel......omg.....
I should have gotten a picture of Ryan's banana chocolate chunk, but I couldn't stop concentrating on my own long enough to do that.....and then it was gone by the time I thought of it, which by the way wasn't that long.

This gelato made me so excited that I decided to do a super creepy stepfordish smile...
I scared you a little bit didn't I? 
Ok, here's some more enjoyment, less creepiness...

Brennon couldn't even stop eating long enough to give me a smile...

Gavy will always give me a "cheese", but I did hurry, because I knew he wasn't going to last long with that much gelato still in his cup...

Right back to it. Do you know what else I love?  Even in this tiny little kiddie size, they can fit several flavors.  So, Gavin got half mint chocolate (has to be just like his brother) and half raspberry cheesecake, because, well, he's a boy after his mama's heart.

This was by far, the saddest moment in Kansas City this weekend.  If you were very quiet and still, you probably could have sensed the sadness all over the city.  If I had money to waste, I would drive up there every few days just to experience this gelato in all of its glorious flavors.  Seriously, it is that good. 

10 Things I Love, Love, Love

I seriously thought that I would be able to come up with the things that I love the most easily, but it really took some time.  There are a lot of people that I love, things I love to do, and places I love to go, but narrowing it down to what I love the most was kind of hard.  Those of you who are close to me could probably guess a lot of them, but I think I have a few surprises up my sleeve for all of you.  Here it goes...

10.  Trains.  I love being able to hear the train from my house.  When we first moved in, I thought it would drive me insane to hear the train whistle blowing at all hours.  When my boys were tiny babies, I would be so nervous that it would wake the boys after working so hard to get them to sleep.  It never did.  I hardly ever hear it at night, and sometimes I don't even notice it during the day.  That's not to say that it's not there, but I just don't always hear it.  There is something so comforting about it just being there.  When life seems so crazy and you think everything is falling apart, it is grounding to know that the train is there, the world just keeps going and whatever we are going through will pass as well.

9.  The beach.  I know it sounds totally lame to say that, because who doesn't love the beach?  I love it because it's peaceful, because I have so many memories of being there growing up, and because it reminds us that we are just one small speck in a world full of God's creation.  I love to play in the waves and sand and act like a silly kid with my silly kids, but I also love to just sit there and take it in.  My absolute favorite memory of Gavin is when I took him out in the ocean when he was only one year old.  He just laid his head on my shoulder and we moved with the waves for probably an hour.  Every beach is different.  They all have their own unique aspects, but I could be happy at any of them.

8.  Friends.  Both kinds.  I love my girlfriends that I can talk to for hours, but I also love my other Friends, as in Monica, Rachel, Pheebs, Ross, Chandler, and Joey.  I own every episode and I can quote from every one of them.  I used to do it a lot more often, but then I realized that only a handful of my actual friends new where it was coming from.  So, now I save my quotes for Kristi, Shanna, and my poor husband.  Watching Friends can pull me out of just about every funk.  So next time you're having a poopy day, watch it, and think of me.  Maybe it will work for you too!
7.  Language.  I love learning new words, using new words, and especially finding grammatical mistakes.  I'm human.  I make them too, but maybe that's why I love to find someone else making them.  I'm a dork, I know.  I'm okay with that.  In fact, I might even be a little bit proud.

6.  Pizza.  Yep.  It made the top ten, but seriously, could there be a more perfect food?  You can do anything to it, and have a new food experience every time.  I love a hot, fresh pizza straight out of the oven at a pizza place.  I love the bubbles in the cheese when it is done just perfect.  I love that you can make it as healthy or unhealthy as you feel like depending on your mood.  In other words, it is a food that is okay with you being moody.  What's better than that?  (On a side note, this is also why I like tulips so much.  Can you see that I have accepted my moodiness and even embraced it?  I'm a girl!)

5.  Baking.  I love to bake.  It is so wonderful to know that you made something from scratch and that no store-bought item can even come close to it.  Some of my favorites are banana bread, peanut butter cookies, and snickerdoodles.  I love sharing my baked creations with my family and friends, experimenting in the kitchen, finding new recipes and making them fun, using my vintage Betty Crocker "Cooky Book", and I LOVE when the boys help me make bake.  I also love cooking, but there's just nothing like the scent of a kitchen with fresh baked goodies.  No candle can truly capture it, and no amount of HFCS or the other junk they put in mass produced store-bough cookies can compare to the taste of cookies right out of the oven!  It's so much fun to do, and your creations can turn out differently every single time....kind of like life!

4.  Barnes & Noble...especially the kids section.  I love just browsing through the shelves of book after book.  I mentally add books to my wish list for my kids, my classroom, or my kindle (which is kind of ironic to be doing at a bookstore, I know).  I look at books and think of how someday I will definitely be publishing my own book, because if some of those books there could get published, I've got nothing to worry about.  I look through the whole children's section every time.  I remember going there before I even had kids of my own.  I would say I was buying things for my classroom, but really I was looking at all the books I wanted to make sure I would share with my own children someday.  I also have really good memories of sitting in the coffee shop (and sometimes then in the car in the parking lot after getting kicked out aftre closing) with my closest friends and talking for hours about life and everything else that would float in and out of our conversations.  It's a magical place, and if I lived in a different time, my dream would be to own a children's bookstore, but we all saw how that turned out for Kathleen Kelly and The Shop Around The Corner.  (Makes me cry every time...)

3.  Photography.  I love to take pictures.  In another life, I would have been a photographer, but then who would be there to teach my class of second graders with a smile and a healthy dose of reality everyday?  I took some classes in college, but my teacher was a real, well, let's just say I'm not a fan of his.  It kind of turned me off to the idea of doing it as a career, but I have taken a some senior pictures for people I know, and they have all been happy with them, so I guess that means I'm pretty decent.  I love photographing my kids, and I am that parent that posts too many pictures on facebook, but oh well.  I love it.

2.  My family.  Another generic answer I know, but my family is my life.  I don't know where I'd be without them.  They are my people, my light, my source for smiles, sadness, and tender moments.  I don't say this to mean that I see them as a burden.  It's quite the opposite.  Because they are so intertwined in my heart, what they feel, I feel.  I love my husband with all my heart.  We have the most precious gifts in the world, and no matter what we go through, as long as we're together, we are blessed.  I cannot say enough about them, so I'll stop...or maybe not.  No, I will.

And drumroll, please.....
1. Jesus.  Obviously, without Him, I wouldn't have all the other things I love.  He gives us new life every morning, and He teaches me to rely on Him when I'm not able to do it all on my own (and who would want to, anyway).  He blesses us in the biggest and smallest ways each day, and I can only hope that I am a good example of His love for my children.  I'm not perfect, and I'm certainly not going to preach, but I am thankful for a source of strength that will NEVER fail me.

There you go.  I know this was a long one, and now that it's over, the other posts won't be so long.  Now you know a little bit about me, and from now on, I can give you a glimpse of what it's like for me to live my life. 

Erin